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"So unwanted for nothing..." May. 16th, 2005 @ 02:17 am
A picture is worth a 1000 words if that is truly the case then listen up.




I have had my fair share of pain both Physical and mental with 7 funerals, more deaths, and a collection of scars but there is one thing that hurts more then losing someone I love. I believe in God and all that so I know I will see those I have lost to death again but there is a loss with out a happy ending loss of bond. For almost 7 years I had been friends with J and in all that time we rarely fought but then she got back together with L and now she hates me.




Now it may sound like I am blaming L but here are some facts about L you should know, I got all these from J so if they are wrong it’s her fault. L is a extremely jealous person and does not like other people being close to L. L is an online flirt and has more then 1 online koi at a time. In fact before they got back together J wanted me to help ruin L’s life and her mom said she did not want L in her house.




Now J said she did not want to choose between us but it seems a flesh and blood friend of nearly 7 years who buys you things, when asked, and listened when no one else would is worthless compared to an online cheating flirt who for a time would not let you RPG with anyone but you and has made you call former bestest buddy sobbing many a times.




It has been a week without any sort of words between us and so I know to her I am a no one I never existed. Going form most trusted friend to a none person hurts more then any death could because she isn’t in a happy place free from this pain called life. It makes me wonder a little how important I was to be cast aside over a hack job I had no part in. She has made her choice and now she has to live with it.




I recently purchased a Manga, Confidential Confessions, for her and it came over the weekend I will still give it to her and I hope every time she sees it or any thing else I bought her I hope she remembers what she threw away so quickly for another’s trespasses.




And now for the lyrics to a song that has fit my mood for about half a month now.

Avril Lavigne - Unwanted

All that I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face
and I sat up straight

Oh yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

Chorus

-You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away-

No I just don't understand why you
Won’t talk to me it hurts that i'm
So unwanted for nothing don't
Talk words against me

I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

Chorus

You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

I tried to belong it didn't seem wrong
My head aches
It's been so long
I'll write the song if that's what it takes

Chorus

You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

Chorus

You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away
Current Mood: sad"You just shut me out"
Current Music: StarGate SG1 MV to "Unwanted" By Avril.

So much for Obsidian Flicker. May. 11th, 2005 @ 01:30 pm
And now for more random pics form my collection.




Want to hear an amusing story? Well I’m going to tell you one so either listen up or leave this entry be. It seems DM’s wolves got hacked. Why is this amusing? Well the hacker was given permission to use her IP # so that can’t just be banned like L’s was and will continue to be the bitch has her own pack I don’t have to let her in mine. Wait there’s more instead of oh I don’t know telling me or mentioning it at all she lets it go to see if I’d notice. Ever since OF was opened I’ve been busy, bad timing, in fact I was absent 4 days prior to Monday’s incident. See DM’s wolves are very predictable and she and Trent, her former friend current hacker, share the wolf Yahto so add to that the IP#’s matching and DM PMing and IMing as if nothing is wrong why thin k about it? Now add the facts I am working on new fics, updates, new boards, the site work she gave me a list of, and concept work for a Fantasy RPG I have had a lot on my mind.




I had to go for about 15-20 minutes on Monday and I come back she had ranted something about L and me fighting and just left. Since it had been a week since L came up in conversation I was a little lost until I noticed L, under a childish name of hellfire_fangs, had challenged Arashi for Alpha Fae. As we all know is Wolf RPG world Alpha is a MATED pair and Arashi and Edan have been mated on three sites now. Plus the stupid bitch godmoded/powerplayed, two wolves, which is unacceptable since she is such a gift form Kami RPGer. There is also the duh law of you must be and accepted member of a pack before you can challenge for any rank and 99.9% of sites you can’t challenge for Alpha so any challenge to that effect is null and void.




And so DM removed her 5 or so wolves form OF and probably expects me to be a good little kitty and make a third site and make sure everyone with her IP# is her rather then watching her own wolves I have 8 of my own plus the site and my FFN account. If she is serious about giving up on Wolf RPGing then I may just close OF and open my own pack running it the way I want and not having to bend the rules for anyone.




What really gets me is I was yelled at like I gave Trent all her passwords. I am not a hacker I worry about my small pack of wolves no one else’s. The pack will be punished because DM would rather run away rather then banning all of Trent’s wolves or whatever. He did not make them act OOC or anything so I see no reason why 1 player cannot be removed or punished in some way but once a fight again I am not a part of will destroy a pack I and innocent players are a part of.




Now I haven’t told her any of this in person since she is not answering my IM’s nor has she tried to call so if this upsets her it’s her own fault for ignoring my IM’s when I tried to talk to her about it.
Current Mood: annoyedSo much for pack # 2.
Current Music: Yuki CP AMV to 'It's Been A While.'

The Beat Of Many Wings Carries My Fustration Away May. 1st, 2005 @ 11:50 pm


Enjoy a few of my dragon pics for no real reason they are tumnailed so you know what to do.

Ok it’s been a little since I posted in this so here we go Disturbed Harmony is dead and will be closed soon so just wait till OF is all ready to move thanks so much. I have decided to make the fantasy RPG so if you have ever wanted to play a dragon, griffin, or whatever harp on me and I’ll work faster if not you’ll have to wait till about June. Specking of people who have delusions of being dragons L said she will stop posting here lets see if she’ll hold herself to that shall we?




Shadow got me Snow so if you like 2x3x2 you’ll have something to read this week Hoo-ra! The next thing will be all about Snow so no more about that for now. Here is a Quiz form DM’s LJ she wanted all her friends to fill out enjoy or whatever.





1.What's your favorite color?: Black, Dark green’s and blue’s.

2.Why are we here?: ‘Coz we haven’t blown ourselves into nonexistence yet Bush is taking his sweet time. Oh dear that was rude huh? Fuck Bush and all you fucks who voted for him!

3.Why do you think that?: Because it is human nature to destroy what they fear and do not understand and that is people not like themselves.

4.Who do you care about the most?: My Gumi if I don’t know you I don’t care about you.

5.Who do you hate the most?: Lindsay whatever her last name is.

6.What's your favorite song?: “Screaming Jesus” by Full Devil Jacket right now.

7.Favorite book?: “Soul Mate” by L.J. Smith.

8.Favorite Movie?: Stigmata, X/1999(Anime).

9.Do you miss someone at the moment?: Yes my Gumi.

10.When's the last time you cried?: About two weeks ago.

11.Why?: Because my best buddy keeps picking abusive bitches for koi

12.Does something hurt you at the moment(physical)?: Yes.

13.What?: A half healed burn on my left index finger.

14.When was the last time you smiled?: Smile or a smile I ment?

15.Are you depressed?: No I’m realistic there’s no pill for that.

16.Why?: Because life has made me this way.

17.When was the last time you hung out with more then 2 friends?: I don’t hang much.

18.What is the most recent really mean thing you've done?: Took out my frustrations over L on DM.

19.What do you think of the world?: You really do not want to know it’s a bad thought.

20.Who do you want to fill this out?: Anyone who is bored do what you want.

21.What will you do if they don’t fill this out?: Not a thing this is a free country.






Ok are we happy now? Good I’m done bye now. Aishi-Cc.



Current Mood: satisfiedFly away and stay that way ryu
Current Music: X AMV to 'Requiem for a Dream'

Smiled on by the Moon Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 11:09 pm
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As I said, some where, the main reason I had such blind hostility towards Diana is because she ripped on DM, one line and nothing that bad, all the rest was just a snow ball rolling down hill. DM and I have been friends for almost 7 years and in all that time have only had three fights, two of which were over L. I am very protective of DM, hates L because of all the times she made DM call me in tears, so Dian earned my hatred and I did my best to make her hate me back but now that all seems petty. I was a bitch to her and she did not deserver it, at lest not what I gave her, I let my baggage form High School poison my judgment and for that I am sorry. Apologies are just words but form one writer to another words can mean more.

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I do not expect miracles after all we went at it for a while but I think in time we can become friends. It has been a while since we last crossed pens and I think we both understand each other a little better now and if not at lest she does not pretend to know how I treat anyone she judges me on what she knows this is a sign of intelligence and the mark of a true writer. Everything I know of L comes from DM and the one phone call we had but I do know how she treats her multiple online koi form DM and Tetsu-kun and I do hope I did not sound as childish as she did if so gomen minna. As for how I live my life that is none of your concern when I do something I do it not half ass it so of course I take it seriously and get worked up shows how well you know me Miss. Judge.

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I did not post a single nice word about Diana until now yet she still came to my defense DM told us both she was not going to get in the middle of the fighting but is more then happy to sit back and watch her best friend and online koi tear each other apart she has accepted the fact nothing will make me like L she hurt DM too much the Hell with what she’s said about me. As of now I no longer hate Diana we may not be close but things can change in time besides she never made my best friend cry so I can forgive her. Diana feel free to replay I will not be a bitch to you anymore you have nothing to worry about anymore.

Ps. Enjoy the wonderful world of Gundam Wing Yaoi Fan Art…again This time it’s 1x2x1 cute huh?


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Current Mood: impressedI've always loved the moon.
Current Music: Kikyou pissed at Inuyasha AMV to 'Karma'...agian.

Why I Hate People Half The Time Even DM. Apr. 17th, 2005 @ 06:10 pm
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You know I never claimed to be a saint, well jokingly a few times but never seriously, in fact I love reminding people “I’m a Pieces not a Saint.” I also say “To err is human to forgive divine well no one’s ever accused me of being divine.” What am I talking about? Good question this will likely piss DM off but considering the headaches I’ve given myself for her bitch of a koi I don’t even care.


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See L, past posts, decided if she gets her own wolf RPG she’ll leave DH happy right we each get what we want? You’d think that wouldn’t you but no it seems Miss. I’m a better Rper kiss my feet or get out of my sight knows nothing about creating a board and either does DM so guess who they turn to? Yes the busy kitty guess who didn’t read my last post about how much fic related work I have to do? Anyway instead of actually trying to make it herself L decides it would be easier to just have me do it but she knows I'd rather skin her hands with a scalp, which I do have a 15 blade, then help her even if it would get her off of DH, which will likely be closing more on that latter, she gets DM to ask me. What’s funny is I’ll do just about anything for a friend, even help an enemy, so I linked all her pages and other site work she’s too lazy to do herself and then we start on the board. Now rather then having L join us or me join L DM decides to play middle man and take twice as long then I have to go unload the car and put everything away when I get back the laptop is off, dog unplugged it he does this at times and she knows it.

So since it’s after 10 and DM is off I just say fuck it and get some typing done. Saturday I don’t even bother getting on because I so don’t want to hear about L in away way but today I get on and not even an e-mail so I send DM one telling her what I need so I won’t have to deal with her asking L and that leads us to here. Now about DH closing oh this will be fun.

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I once had a dream to create a wolf RPG where all the misfits and newbies could go and have fun where being a top Rper did not mean you could trample on those who were not but that dream was shattered very quickly. The Ying and Yang leadership of Yahto and Yue Anwe was thrown outta whack by L and now the pack of 22 are confused. The Lycanthorophy practicing dragon bitched about there being two male Alpha, we’re twins, especially when she became Alpha but we’ve been over that.

Well Yahto’s player and L had a spat and so their wolves are fighting which is a problem since she’s one step away from being demoted, since she got the rank for being Yahto’s fuck buddy getting dumped would take the rank away anyway, and she is one step away from challenging us to a death match for the rank. See on like every other wolf site it’s all I made it no one can be Alpha but on DH if you can kill both Alpha you get the rank, this was my friend’s idea not mind. So as you can see confused pack but wait there’s more Yue, me, is not there, as well as the other 3 wolves I play since she pissed me off so I took sometime off and came back recently. Personally I'd love to get in a fight a fae cannot take two brutes unless she goes all Puff the Magic fuckin’ Dragon on us.

Now what is my friend’s solution? Close DH after a little over a month and start a new site and help L with her’s. Well I can’t just say no DH stays open since that will just make DM leave and take as many friends with her as she can. In fact with L gone I have no reason to not want to be on, DH not that this matters just like DH there is a dream I just do the grunt work to make it happen. I made the forums everything is in my name but if DM wants it closed to Hell with what I want I just network. My Beta Shadow asked me why I put myself trough all of this for DM that’s why to keep her happy I’ve had swallow my pride and take her bitche’s abuses but Kami forbid I should dare open my mouth and say an ill word about the Ryu Kami L. The last time I tried to explain any of this to DM there was a big ass fight both IM and phone so I don’t bother. What’s the point when L is always right and I am always wrong?

Well it’s all out there now all the happy feelings I’ve been dealing with for the last few week at least Diana will get a kick out of all of this. I’m still thinking of making my own fantasy RPG where the boards are split into four groups each ruled by a dragon of each of the four elements under one great dragon maybe I’m not sure. After the whole L dragon mess I’m not sure it’s even worth it. Well that’s it hope you feel better about your own lives now.
Current Mood: aggravatedTake a guess huh?
Current Music: Lain AMV to 'Animosity' by Klank
Other entries
» I run my poor Beta ragged.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com Itai *twitch, twitch*

Hiya’s minna it’s been a while huh? What can I say I’ve been busy with stuff it seems the only spirits who have been smiling on me are my muses but that’s alright I’m use to that. It has been forever since I last updated anything on FFN, I got some V-day stuff up but that’s it, but that’s not entirely mine or even my poor Beta’s fault. She has been supper busy to plus she is still in school so she has school work to do even if she wanted to spend all day on my stuff she can’t.

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Here’s a look at why I called her poor. The last thing she got done for me was a set of 3 pieces 6,977words and 19 pages and that was the rushed V-day job. At the moment my poor Beta is going through a looooooong fic she is helping me redo, it was cliché and I got yelled at so she’s going to co-write it with me sortta, plus all the new stuff she’s gotten in February and March. At this very moment in time she has 12 pieces she has to beta totaling 39,757 words and 126 pages plus her schoolwork and life. My grammar is my big problem but I’m getting better she’s happy about that, keke, she goes through everything adds commentary and stuff in red then I go through it editing it and send it back one last time then when I get it back I remove the commentary and post it this can take a while. See I have 88 fics on FFN only about 4 of them were posted fully betaed which means 80+ fics must be edited, updated and betaed while new fics are added to the list see why I call her poor? Shadow assures me she loves her job and won’t let me buy her a B-gift of a manga or 2, my norm gift for friends, or pay for her FFN account, I pay for 3 already my sister’s Rachel Ryan a Slash writer aka non-Anime Yaoi/Shounen-Ai and my best buddy Demented Marik, which has been dead but hey life sucks sometimes for a long time.

Now I have another wave of stuff sitting in my Send to Shad folder but she recently got 2 new fics, 1x3x1 and a KibaxTsume one, so they will have to wait until I get some more back. The new wave as of 4/12/05 is 6 pieces 23,020 words and 121 pages. The fic known as either Death or ‘Our Love Dose Not End In Death’ will be updated soon since Shadow-chan got the edited chapter 1 and new chapter 2 so if you are a 1x3x1 otaku you should check back here or if you have an FFN account add yours truly to your Author Alert list so you’ll get an e-mail the second it’s posted. The next wave of updates will be Inuyasha Yaoi and KaiJou but I’ll get into that to my next entry so red it if you like KaiJou and/or Inuyasha Yaoi. Well that’s it for update news so pray to whoever you pray to and hopefully we’ll get stuff up. Ja Aishi-chan.
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» Why 19 year old on'na have been giving me a headache
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You know I spend a lot of time trying to figure out human behavior it’s a hobby really as anyone who reads my work more then once knows I like to use my work to explore psychology, theology, and a little philosophy of the characters from certain shows as well as share my views on life. Through high school I was strange outsider who saw and heard all but was mostly left in peace unless someone needed something explained. You see despite my flakyness at times I am not a baka though sometimes you really can’t tell. I am overly defensive of certain things and these seem to be the things online people do.



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Most people I meet on line either bore me or they piss me off which is why I do not chat, or IM with hundreds of people I will never meet and will never know me. The few close internet friends I do have know me and like me for me, the person you see online is me I do not project a false image which is why I tend to piss people off. Take Diana for example what did she do to get such vehement reactions out of me? Well there are a lot of things that helped but the main one was that she insulted my best friend instead of only insulting me. Is that worth all this fighting? In my mine yes nothing means more to me then my gumi and when they are attacked their attacker become my enemy. Why else do you hate this Diana? Well she has told me to die twice, has accused me of trying to stress her out to the point she injures or even kills her unborn child, some of these posts were deleted form the site by her friend, she rips me apart on AIM (this is just annoying), also she has the nerve to write about me in her LJ get some facts wrong then be mad when I correct her and get mad. Now do I mine having people talk about me? No as long as they get the facts straight they are free to a pregnant high school drop out calling me a whore for example is not going to go unchecked since I have no Koi nor do I want one.

I have read her LJ and the fact that she is a pregnant high school drop out is fact. She is living with her koi and wants to study psychology a noble and respectable goal but I have noticed something. She claims to want to study human behavior yet appears to have no regard or basic understanding what so ever for my feelings during the fights. I explained my why’s but like Elsa it appears she is one of those I’m right your wrong no matter what kind of people, I did admit I was wrong she did not and she claims to be the bigger women. Normally my course of action would be to draw her blood, pregnant or not, and continue this until she shuts her damn mouth about me but PA and IL are not that close. So I have decided to do what I do to zealot or closed minded reviewers I will simply ignore her. I have no doubt in my mind she will either read or hear of this and will either respond here or write another LJ entry about me but I will not be goaded into another fight with some 19 year old I will never meet in my life. If you ever read a future book by me and see a dedication to a Diana L. Roberts with something along the lines of ‘With out you telling me to die I never would have been driven enough to write this thanks for the blind hate Kari” you’ll know why.


Now on to another baka 19 year old I sadly still have to deal with. Yahto, one of those close friends, and I recently started a site modeled after SA, which is slowly becoming FR, Yahto named it Disturbed Harmony and so far it has been doing alright but there is this one little thing. Yahto’s online koi L came to the site and decided to play a red dragon who projected the illusion of a wolf. Since Yahto stressed the point it was to be a realistic, mostly, site and the fact I hate L I protested and Yahto threaten to leave the site I made the way he wanted, oi was I pissed. We fought about it for a few hours before deciding to put it to a pack vote and L won so it was dropped and all was well for a while. Yahto was recently hospitalized, he’s recovering so don’t worry too much, and this started the new fight. See DH is co-lead by two male Alpha who are twins Yue, me, the white Alpha who likes people and Yahto the younger black Alpha who doesn’t. This has worked well it allows Yue to met and greet new wolves while Yahto deals with anything that comes up we like this arrangement which is why it was set up. Anyway L and Yahto’s wolves would have ended up mated anyway and so Yahto asked me, I do all the Admin. work, to instate her as an Alpha since he will be mostly out while he’s getting better. So I did and then she got all up in my face but first a little back story. Yahto and I talk a lot IM and I had a passing thought I shared with him Yue is a less forceful Alpha then Yahto and since they are brothers he could step down to Beta when he got a mate without meaning miss treated. This was just a thought we bounced around but I never once said I defiantly would step down a fact Yahto failed to tell L when he told her of the conversation without my permission. Well L decided that since she is now an Alpha, IC she is still a no one, Yue should become a Beta and therefore bow to her. I told her basically to kiss my ass I never said I would and like I'd bow to someone I hate on a site I half own. She toke that in stride and said one she was a better rper and two that a wolf pack is run by a he and she Alpha pair in the real world. I agreed she was a better rper, it’s just a way to kill time and keep my brain active when I’m not working on fics, but if she can play a dragon who now practices Lycanthrophy there can sure as Hell be two Alpha males and I haven’t been on DH for over a week so I have no idea what she said back.

She openly said she dose not respect me or Yue and you cannot play on a site where you piss off one of the owners every few weeks or so. Kura was banded form FR for less and I will not take her crap for much longer If Yahto wants to leave yet him I will not play 4 wolves on a site when L pisses me off so bad I can’t think straight.


Anyway my rant about these two is done DH may just get left to Yahto since SA is not dead I created a new Wolf Yukito Jujika, Snow Cross, which I can happily play there and create a few others to replace those I would lose on DH. If I leave DH my wolves would leave to Kura, Arashi and her pup Dmitrik, and Yue. I have over 35 chapters I need to refit and send to my beta not to mention new stuff I do not have time to play 7 wolves on 2 sites and be pissed off a lot by 1 shoujo. DH was made to be a safe haven for misfits but it seems until L shuts her mouth or leaves it will be a headache to play there which means I will take every weekend off because I will need them.

» Why This Neko Keeps Her Tsume Sharp.
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First off I want to apologize to any of my Otaku who are reading this I have been supper busy and so has my wonderful Beta so there will no updates for a few more days. I know it’s been a while but major fighting has been draining and Shadow has been busy I gave her a shit load of things to Beta so there will be updates soon.

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What have I been supper busy with? Well let’s see there’s the fighting, typing, working on an online album for SA, shorting through my fan art, writing, the norm. Ok here’s a question do I come off as a guy? I mean Aisha is clearly a she and I write Yaoi so if I was a guy that would make me gei, Jap. spelling, or bi. Maybe it’s my name which is Kari a bi name really, guys usually spell it with a K in my experience? Or maybe it’s the fact I hold a grudge and say whatever the Hell I want to say?

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Why don’t I talk much about myself? Well what is there to say really? I hate what I hate and I am hated by about half the people I meet. No joke see I’m all about saying exactly what I think and I never back down like Tsume and like Tsume a lot of people don’t like that. Maybe Daria or Becker would be better examples? Anyway I’m a lot of fun till I’m pissed off and if I say I hate you I will hate you until I die or get some brain disorder and forget I hate you. Like Sanosuke I am brutally honest and will not given in to anyone weaker then me, which is everyone who I am not close to. How many of you have heard of X of X/1999? I would choose to become a Chi no Ryu or a Dragon of Earth and kill every last human alive because I am more familiar with the Hell of human existence then the Heaven, Daria anyone? I’m 21 years old and I’ve lost about 75% of my faith in humanity and God and I are in a Love/Hate relationship half of the time. I’m a cynical hopeless romantic sadist and I’m damn proud of it if you still want to be friends IM me.

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I was just in the journal of this shoujo I’ve been fighting with and after reading what she said I responded and most likely will be banned…barred whatever from her LJ. Some people will not admit they are wrong so they just ban people who disagree with them. Now was I wrong yes ,were they yes, does it matter no. See SA’s owner Shelby-san thinks we can all get along she’s a happy person and I like her but I am not a happy person I don’t live in that world neither do about 90% of those I call friend. She never had friends receive death threats or be shunned by most of the school so she can still think like that. I’m a borderline slasher I don’t cut myself I take this radio antenna and I beat my left arm with it from my elbow to my wrist until it is solid black with traces of crimson a violet and is hot to the touch. I also rip open scabs and either lap my blood or draw crosses or some other icon in it before licking it, I’m a clutz so I have one or two like nicks all the time. I’m not right it the head and I know that but I don’t hurt myself that much only when I’m really upset.


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Hard to believe someone who writes such happy romantic things can have such a dark side huh? What can I say over a decade of verbal abuse has fucked me up but good but don’t worry only Diana and Elsa have made me hurt myself in rage recently I told Shelby-san a little about it and it upset her she has slasher friends but guess what so do I. Oh enough of this self loathing shit I have fics to write and zealots to piss off.
» Vote, Bitch, Rant, Do Whatever You Must Just Tell Me What To Type.
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Aisha Clanclan wants you to help decide what she needs to get up.

As always I have a few fics I’m not sure if I should type up so here they are you tell me. Please I need to know if I should type up, have them Betaed, and posted or if I should spend that time updating older fics. If you aren’t a GW Otaku Nanashi means No Name which means the fic is title less.


Listed in no order what so ever!


Nanashi 2x3x2 sub 1x4x1 past 2xH or Nanashi 2x3x2 #1 for short.

Shadow and I were talking and this fic is her fault really she’ll be so happy...I hope. Anyway basically Duo and Hilde get together and break up breaking Duo’s heart, bad Hilde makes Duo cry...a lot. The first chapter is about half Duo very upset and being comforted by his friend, Trowa, while Quatre and the others are on a short of mission, yes they are alone in a big house. Poor Cat feels badly for Duo but decides to stay and finish up rather then running home knowing that Trowa can help Duo more then his fussing can. Heero accepts his decision since Cat knows best and so the two future pairings are established without having to do much. Ok sometimes I’m lazy so sue me.



Nanashi Wolf’s Rain

Ok nanashi for now but will be a TxT, KxC, and HxB by the end. If you loved Toboe and Tsume’s rocky relationship during the season right up to their deaths then you should like this fic. Tsume is by far my fave, he’s the most like me though I’m happy a lot like Hige to, so he and Toboe are the main focus. The angst they cuase each other is a major plot element Blue agonizing over staying with ‘Pops” or Hige and the others as well as Tsume’s dislike and distrust of Hige and Blue. All in all a pretty IC fic and my second TxT fic my first was No Naka Ni Koro Okami or Within The Hearts Of Wolves. It’s a TxT and HxK fic that are is two chapters long so go read if you want.


Present 2x3x2 and Hilde wants Duo Future 1x4x1 or Nanashi 2x3x2 #2.

Starts off with Duo watching a mostly full moon shimmer on a river as he thinks about jumping. This not a happy fic and it’s clear right from the get go DM said I should be darker and so I’m giving it a try. I have a dark side that lives on the pain and suffering of other and it’s time it came out to play more then it does. One of my fave lines from chapter 1 is “if you really want to die there are many less...cliché ways to go.” This would be Trowa by the way he embodies my dark animalistic side Duo my depressed dejected side. I’m not suicidal but I know a few people who were and who hasn’t thought about it this world is too cruel not to at least once. If you live on Duo’s angst then vote yes for this one.



Nanashi Yu-Gi-Oh! #1

Ok this fic is short of a L Complex for those of you who only understood complex it means a young teenage male in love with a man in Anime this is not uncommon. The pairing is Mokuba and Bakura, the Yami, which as you know Mokuba is 12, about, and Ryou/Bakura is 17, about, so you see why I said short of since 18 is a man not 17. I know an out there pairing or is it? Bakura acts a lot like Kaiba and manages to get his hands on Mokuba twice, episode 200 is fun. Ok I know some of you are thinking pedophilia and well yes in a way it is but that is just the way this fic turned out. As we all know Yami are not know for being nice respectable members of society, Yami was a bad ass in the first series I kindda miss that. If you hate the idea that’s cool if you like it that’s cool to at any rate it’s out there so vote.


Nanashi SetoxKisara

Oh my God a straight main pairing fic!? As the temporary title suggest it’s a SetoxKisara fic, yey! Basically bad bad men resurrect Kisara from the dragon’s tablet complete with her Ka beast, aka the Blue Eyes White Dragon, and they pay, the dragon blasts them. Poor Kisara ends up in front of the tablet and is taken in by Ishizu, or Isis as Kisara calls her. After meeting Yami and Yugi Ishizu takes the pretty former dead dragon girl to her past lover and that’s when things get interesting. Sub pairings are YmaixYugi and BakuraxRyou, I seem to love adding YmaixHakari pairings as sub. I may be a Yaoi writer but I don’t hate the straight parings they’re just so over done I try not to use them unless an idea just won’t leave me alone, it’s a one shot, a sub pairing, or it’s something out their.



Nanashi 2x3x2 #3

Yes another 2x3x2 fic Shadow will so pleased...any who this one has a stray kitten in it who causes all kind of mischief. This is a more light heart fic written mostly to entertain and amuse, well to think a little to. Once again 1x4x1 is a sub heading as well as 6x9x6 and maybe some 5xS, but I’m not sure. Tell me what you think in a vote k?


Nanashi Wolf’s Rain #2.

Ok here is another Wolf’s Rain ficcy in this one Blue and Tsume end up together, in more ways then one, when the gumi is attack by nobles shortly after being reunited. Kiba and Cheza end up together, and not just in the same place, and so do Toboe and Hige, do I even need to say it? I know all the die hard TxT and HxB otaku, as in the rabid scary kind, will hate me for this one. I love TxT but I can see them with other wolves so...your views?


Nanashi Yu-Gi-Oh! #2

Ah the Yaoi fan girls dream Yu-Gi-Oh! keke. Ok common pairing of Yu/Ya x Kaiba too much fan art and I do like the pairing so…Ok basic plot line Yugi gets all sick, we’ve all been there and if not I hate you, and starts having these nightmares which he comes to learn only Kaiba can chase away, he’s scary when he’s pissed. This is a cutter fic showing Kaiba does have a gentle side and that Mokuba ain’t the only he’ll show it to. Yugi is just too cute like Mokuba how can you not love them? So type and post or no?



Nanashi 2x3x2 #4

This is technically a counter part to Death http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2210991/1/ since it was written at about the same time and is similar besides both have Lamia in it. I’m a Trowa Otaku that is all I can say in my defense for most of my fics. Heero is with Duo for a little bit, revealed later, and Heero now has a thing for a witch, latter revealed as Quatre, and there are the fun Lamia flings. Duo takes a wounded Trowa home with the intention of <>playing</i> with him once he has him healed but falls for him instead. Zechs and the others are thrown in as the fic progresses, they aren’t supper important right off. Death is the one I prefer and so that’s the one I typed up.



Nanashi Yu-Gi-Oh! #3

Again with the Y/Y x Kaiba *sigh* but different so hear me out? Yami is in the museum staring at that blasted tablet, why didn’t/did their outfits change so much? Kaiba startles him and they start talking which leads to kissing, keke, Yugi, who was exploring, takes control and is a little confused, keke, Ishizu interrupts, figures I don’t like her. All and all a typical Y/Y x Kaiba fic I guess so vote now.



BET

KaiJou ficcy! Mokuba tricks Jou into coming home with him then playing a game, think first season first series Yami here, Jou loses and becomes Mokuba’s slave for five days, he’s not Otogi so no doggy suit. Mokuba is a sneaky like fuck in this one and let me just say Kaiba is none too happy coming home and almost walking into the blonde.



Ok that is the end vote now please?

» Update News...and Why I'm Behind.


Here’s a clue to my current mood happy huh?


Right now your normally easy going neko on’na is very, very, very unhappy so unhappy in fact for the second time in almost 7 years of friendship DM, Demented Marik on FFN, and I got into it. Why am I so unhappy? Well that’s a really long story but short version is a shit load of misunderstandings on one site, you all remember I want to be a wolf to mommy, FR fallowed me to SA reared it’s head, in my angry entry, and is back again. I’ve had zealots telling me I’ll burn in Hell for what I write who are nicer to me. Oh I could rant, post snippets from their posts so you can see why but if you really want to know go to the fore mentioned entry and fallow the link then you can read both sides and form a unbiased opinion and feel free to air your thoughts here no matter what they are tell me I’m a stubborn baka or whatever.


Sadly all this tension plus a few recent projects have delayed my updating gomen minna.


But no worries as we speck my wonderful Beta Shadowgoddess03 is working on some updates I sent her. Angel, Death, Snow, and a few others will all be updated before St, Patrick’s Day which I can enjoy properly now that I’m 21. Don’t worry no DUI for me I’m a social drinker and am not going to die wrapping my car around some tree. As happy as my sudden death would make some people zealots and non alike I’m planning on staying around for a good long while. They say the good die young but since I’m such a lowly human being that most likely will burn ‘coz I don’t hate gays like the Bible tells me to so I’ll live forever Wahahaha!



Ok new fics that will be coming out this month my Muses willing, tsuki at hoshi if you can’t read it ask. You’ll get a little about it then a snippet from the story if you like then tell me to get it up. If you have an FFN account stick me on your Author Alerts lists and you’ll never miss the post you want or check back here if you see an entry with the fics name or Updates in the title it will tell you it’s up or whatever.


Heaven and Hell Title will be changed all ideas welcome since I talked about this one before here’s a little something from chapter one enjoy.

“Why do you care about God?” Trowa asked devils were suppose to hate God not be curious about him confused him.

“He speaks of love and understand yet I see so little of it in his world humans so easily forsake him it must be painful for him,” Quatre answered softly.

Trowa nodded the human world was not God had wanted for them, “It does he is often sad but he can do nothing.”

“Lucifer pities him sometimes saying he knew humans would turn,” Quatre sighed softly he was not sure who he should pity more.

“He was right many have but many remain loyal,” Trowa did not like admitting it but Satan had been right.

Quatre nodded, “Yes they do but many simply for the rewards.”


“That is the way of humans,” Was all Trowa had to say to that.

“Yes it is,” Quatre agreed sadly before looking up at him again, “Angel do you think God would hate me?”



Nanashi 1x3 fic. No name yet, so baka, lots of pretty BOOMs and stuff. As you know Heero, aka The Perfect Solider, said “I’ll never kill again anyone ever again I don’t have to anymore.” in Endless Waltz, if not shame on you he said it right before collapsing near the end, and I play with it. Trowa, aka The Silencer and my fave, voiced regret at becoming “nothing more then redundant soldiers”, if you forgot that buy DVD #5, but never about killing people. So since I love comparing and contrasting the pilots I play on Heero’s weariness of killing and Trowa’s indifference to it. They are similar not the same so if you like the sheer body count of Gundam Wing as well the angst, or lack of it, from the now 18 year olds who have been killing for so long give it a read.

“Why you can be to Heero? I was never trained not to feel in fact Cap wished I would feel something. Maybe I have come a long way but I am still so cold maybe this is just what I am what I always will be?” Trowa sighed softly unsure how he even felt about it.


“Always be what Trowa? You are not a bad person so you are cold so what you are not to those who love you that is what matters?” Heero placed a hand on his shoulder trying to offer some comfort if it was needed Trowa’s control, like his, was still second nature so it was very hard to shake him.


“You sound like Quatre he said that once,” Trowa informed him, “And just like then it changes nothing. Words will not fix anything not Earth, space, or us,” He had been talked to death about how he could change but it was not so easy to just forget what had been drilled into him for over half his life.


“I know that but Kami I wish you were wrong so much right now,” Heero admitted he was unsure if Trowa’s sudden difficultness was because he was confused or because he did not want to talk about this topic anymore. People often lashed out when confused but he was unsure if Trowa was one of those people, “I wish I could say something and make all the pain just go away but even with all my power all I can do is nothing!”


Trowa frowned Heero actually sounded defeated it was unsettling Heero was someone he admired because he never gave up like this. He had never really thought about it before but he did admire his leader maybe that what made him so easy to fallow they all did what he told them to, like Quatre, because he always seemed infallible. Oh he knew they both could fail he was hardly perfect himself but that did not change that fact it was just he tried to change but Nanashi was still needed so often he wonder if he truly could. Long graceful fingers moved to gently rest on Heero’s hand a silent acknowledgement of so much, “Heero don’t say things like that our world had gotten better which is hardly nothing I’m glad the original Wing didn’t kill you like you planed.” Trowa paused turning to look over his shoulder Heero’s dark ocean colored eyes were turned away and down, “I wish you could to.”


Nanashi SetoxBakura fic again all ideas welcome. This came from fan arts and a few Doujinshi scans so it’s pure fandom really. Ok basically this is set in the past, 5,000 or 3,000 years ago depending on which version you go with, and the CEO is a Priest, still hot he’s my second fave, and our unbanishable Yami is back to being the Thief King not Yami Bakura. So you get one hot guy in navy and gold add another hot guy in red and white and you get fun! Bakura, all three, is my fave so I paired my two faves up and in the past even. I LOVE Kisara and KisaraxSeto, needs to get one up, but not this time kiddies. Preview time!

Bakura stood, “I should go,” He stumbled falling into Seto’s waiting arms.

“You will do no such thing,” Seto informed him tone switching from friendly to commanding.

Bakura sniffed picking up the lingering scents of inscents on his robes and lotus on his hands. ‘A priest concerned for a thief? Maybe Apophis has finally managed to swallow the sun?’ Ok for those who love Yu-Gi-Oh! but have no practical knowledge of the Egyptian mythology that shows up in fic Apophis is a snake who tires to swallow Ra’s boat everyday which sailed across the sky like Helios’s chariot. So think Hell has finally frozen over as a modern equivalent this is just a saying I came up with but I’m sure someone said it somewhere.




Ok the next entry will be a list of ideas I’m kicking around so leave a thought and vote yes, no, or maybe.

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